In The End
by Baby Lawless
Summary: ...there is only us. Side by side. Into eternity. I never knew, what you meant to me, until that moment, that I lost you.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Johnny, Devi and Squee all belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Slave Labor Graphics. I'm just making them do stuff. I am making no profit from this story other than the content of the reviews and comments left behind.

A/N: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO "That Shit Called Destiny." I'm going through a lot of crap right now and this fic came to me during a particularly distressed moment. This is not a happy fic folks. Just a fair warning.

66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

I knew he was following me. He always followed me. I noticed it about a month ago, but I figured as long as he kept his distance, didn't try to harm me or talk to me, I'd let him have his way. Honestly it made me feel a little safer in this shithole of a city we called home. Johnny had a lot of copycat killers now. It was always easy to tell when it was Johnny and when it was someone else. Johnny was precise about his murders, everything was done in a specific way, and he never left any evidence behind, or if he did, they never found it. I had a feeling he could write a confession in blood on the wall and they would still never find him. But the copy-cats, they were always messy, forgetful and stupid. Almost every one of them got caught after their first murder. A few of them even went so far as to rape their victims, sometimes while they were still alive. _That _I knew wasn't Johnny.

I had tested him a few times. Kept my brass knuckles and pocket knife on me while walking into a dark alley, or going into old abandoned houses. He never came to me, he just followed. So after a while, it stopped bugging me. I guess I started to feel flattered. And honestly, I kind of started to fall for him again. It was sweet, in a creepy sort of way.

So one night, when I knew it was going to get chilly and start raining, I left the house without a coat. I decided to do a little shopping, and went into an art store. Sure enough, ten minutes after I walked in the door, there he was. I took my time, looking over canvases and their new selection of paints. I picked up a few things and checked out. As soon as I walked outside it started to rain. "Fuck!" I growled, crossing my arms across my chest as I started walking home. This might have been a mistake, because I was starting to get way colder than I thought I would.I stopped and leaned up against a wall, my teeth chattering and shivering. But he still didn't come near me. With a sigh I pushed away from the wall and stepped out onto the sidewalk, turning around. There he was, and he froze like a deer in the headlights. There wasn't anyone else on the street tonight, so it was just me and him.

"Hi Nny." I said, smiling at him. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before closing the space between them.

"Devi…" He whispered, his voice caressed my name like it was the last word he would ever speak. I smiled at him, despite my chills. I could see him think for a moment, and then he stripped off his coat off, wrapping it around my shoulders. I smiled and snuggled into the coat.

"I kind of missed you…" I admitted, looking up into his eyes. I could see his smile in the darkness.

"I missed you too…." He said, seemingly hesitant. But he soon seemed to warm. I nodded in he direction of my apartment.

"C'mon, let's get out of the rain."

We walked slowly to my place, despite the rain. We kept bumping into one another, and we would laugh, and keep walking. Eventually I slipped my hand into his, and he stopped. I stopped with him, and turned to him. He didn't let go of my hand. I smiled, and wiped some of the wet hair out of his eyes. I suddenly realized that he was out now in nothing but his fishnet shirt, and he was shaking.

"Oh God, Nny. I'm sorry." I whispered, leaning into him to try to share some warmth. He smiled, but leaned back slightly. I wanted to kiss him, I really did, and as I leaned up….

WHAM!

I screamed and jumped back, a car had just ran up onto the curb. And Johnny was no longer in front of me. I frantically looked around, maybe he got out of the way. The car took off and I shivered, looking down. There he was. legs bent at odd angles, head bleeding. I froze. No.

"Nny!" I yelled, bending down and grabbing his arms, pulling him back against the wall of the abandoned apartment building they were next to. She knelt down, cradling his head. His eyes were slightly open. "Johnny! Can you hear me?!" I yelled, lightly slapping his face. I didn't care that I was getting soaked, I didn't care that my legs were getting drenched in blood. I pressed my fingers to his throat, there was a pulse, it was faint, but it was there. "Johnny! Keep your eyes open baby!" I yelled, slapping his face again.

"Devi…?" Johnny mumbled, looking up at me. i tried to smile as I reached up and pressed my hand to the wound on his head, he winced and took a sharp breath.

"Sorry, but I gotta stop it from bleeding." I whispered, leaning down closer to him. "You're gonna be okay."

"No.. I won't be." He groaned, and spoke again before Icould. "I've got a full set of broken ribs, probably a punctured lung, and my skull is cracked open, I'm losing too much blood…" His voice was faint, and I shook my head, not having any of it.

"I'm gonna call an ambulance," I fished her phone out of my pocket and punched in 9-1-1. The operator answered immediately.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The woman on the other end said.

"My, uh…. my boyfriend just got hit by a car! He's bleeding really bad and his head is split open."

"Alright ma'am, calm down, please. Where are you?"

"Uh… " I looked around. "Kinnear Ave, right next to the Super Pig Buffet."

"Okay, we're sending help. Try to keep him awake." I hung up the phone and looked down, Johnny had his eyes closed.

"NNY! Nny you have to stay awake!" I shook him softly and his eyes peeked open.

"Devi… you're an angel." He whispered, reaching up and running his fingers across my cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind. I smiled, reaching up and taking his hand. "Devi… I'm sorry about…"

"Shh, don't worry about it. It's okay." I whispered, brushing some more hair out of his eyes, just as they started to slip closed."Johnny!" He jerked slightly, his eyes opening again.

"Devi I-"

"Shhh,"

"I love you." He breathed out, almost like it took everything in him to get those words out. I froze. Not even kind of ready for that. When I had turned around it was to confront him, to see what he would do. Now he's lying in my arms, bleeding to death, and telling me he loves me..And I Knew in her heart in that moment that I loved him too.

"I love you too, Nny." He smiled and squeezed my hand. Cautiously, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He returned the kiss. It was soft, and gently, and sweet. Everything that a first kiss should be. We held it as long as we could before being forced to breath. And I shifted so both her arms were around him, holding him close.

"Devi," Johnny groaned, and I looked down at him. "Please don't forget me…" He managed to pull pull me to him again, before I could say anything, and gave me one more kiss. I could feel everything he put into it, and it took me a moment to realize he was saying goodbye. I started to pull back just as he went limp in my arms. I breathed in his last breath.

"Johnny!" I yelled, shaking his body. His head lolled around, supported by nothing at this point. I grew frantic, shaking him harder and harder. I checked his pulse, tried CPR, I didn't want to accept that he was gone. Not like that. No. "Johnny please!" I cried, burying my face against his rapidly cooling chest.

This can't be happening. Not after everything already. He can't be dead. I didn't notice as the squad pulled up, and only barely realized that there were people around. Someone tried to guide me away from him, but I held tight.

"Miss, miss we have to put him in the ambulance, you can come with us, but you have to let go." The EMT was calmly whispering to me, and I let go of my grip on Nny's shirt. I watched in numbness as they put him in the body bag and put it in the ambulance. I felt myself being guided to the truck.

Everything was silent on the ride there, I stared at the body bag, like somehow I expected him to pop out of it and yell surprise. For which I would have promptly kicked his ass. But no, he stayed still. Dead. Right in front of me. And the tears pushed at the back of my eyes, begging to be let out. But I stood strong. I refused to let them fall. Not now. Not while I was needed.

When we arrived at the hospital, Johnny was taken immediately down to the morgue, despite my protests, and I was led into a private waiting room. There was a cop there, holding a pad of paper and a pen. I sighed and set down.

"I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances, Miss-?"

"Devi…."

"Devi. I'm Detective Wieinerdink, I'll be investigating this case. You said the victim was struck by a car?" He asked, and I just looked at him like he was a moron.

"Yes."

"Did you see the car?"

"Yes…"

"And what did it look like?" He asked, and I twitched.

"It was two in the fucking morning, I have no idea what it looked like!"

"Alright miss, calm down. How do you know the victim?"

"We were.." I stopped, thinking. What the hell were we? "We were dating…"

"Okay, and does the victim have any other family or friends?" He asked, writing a few things down.

"Not that I'm aware of…" I muttered, forcing tears down my throat. "As far as I know. it's just me."

"I am sorry for your loss." He said as he left the room. It was almost two hours before I saw anyone else. Finally a doctor came in, telling me that the confirmed cause of death was internal bleeding. Assuring me that there was no way I could have stopped it. I could only nod, and he left again. I finally pulled myself home somewhere around noon. Feeling dead inside. He had told me he loved me, and I loved him too. And just as fast as the words left his mouth, he was gone. My heart was left aching. After all we had been through, that was really the way it ended? I shook my head, this couldn't be right. There had to be something else…..

So I went through, and made all of the funeral arrangements myself, even paid for it. It was the least that I could do for the man I love. It was a very small ceremony, only myself and Johnny's little neighbor Todd. I held the child close and he patted my hair while I cried, and we left the cemetery, I dropped him off at home, and then walked into Nny's house.

It was just like I remembered it, filthy, reeking of death, and somehow homey at the same time. I worked my way through, looking over things, picking up random knick-knacks and setting them down again. When I reached his bedroom, I looked through his dresser. There was a Burger Boy sitting on top of it, and something about it made me take a second look. Then I heard _You're Devi, right? _ I blinked, then nodded. "Yes" _Johnny was right, you are beautiful. _I just blushed a bit. _I'm sorry for your loss, but.. you may want to look under the pillow on the bed, I think there's something there you'll want to see._

I turned around, looking at the worn out, but somehow barely used bed. I sat down on it, reaching under the pillow and pulling out a diary. It was well worn too, looking like it had seen better days. I didn't feel right though, this was Nny's private world. I? didn't deserve to know. But as I placed it back in it's spot, a piece of paper fell out. I made to stuff it under the pillow too, but then I saw that it was addressed to me. I couldn't help myself.

_My dearest Devi,_

_You don't know what it does to me to be away from you. I feel like I can't breath without your scent, or see without your beauty. My sweetest angel. _

_If only you could know how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you, I just wanted us to be together forever. Side by side until we were nothing but dust. That's what you mean to me. I wanted to be with you for all eternity. _

_I deserved every kick and punch that you gave me. I was an idiot. I see now that it would have been so much better to have you by my side alive and well. But now you're gone. I see you sometimes though, walking down the street, at the store. And I live for those glimpses. Those few seconds that I feel alive again. _

_I promised to give you my nothing, but I just can't. I can't leave you alone in this world the way that it is. So I promise to give you my all. My life if I have to, to keep you safe._

_Devi, you are my world. I can live only with you, or not at all. You are my light, my life. My love. _

_With all of my heart and soul,_

_Nny_

I didn't realize it, but there were tears streaming down my face. He gave his life protecting me. And I felt… so alone. Like the light and happiness of my life had been sucked away. I realized that I had started living for the glances of him I caught in store windows, the smell of him, something earthy and dark, with a hint of blood. He had become something with which I had scheduled my life.

And in that moment, I realized that my life would never be the same without him. Never be complete. And then, then, I knew that I had to do.

I stalked my way down the stairs, I knew what he kept down here, Todd told me. But it wasn't for killing them that I came, I wanted just one thing, and that was to lie next to him. So I stole a blade, a short, sharp one. And made my way from that house back to the cemetery. They hadn't covered his casket yet, and it was easy enough for me to climb in next to his scrawny frame.

And once I was safe inside that coffin, snuggled up next to my love, I drew that blade across my wrist like a bow across a violin, and I curled myself around him, mumbling words of love to his already empty corpse. And I passed into that deep and permanent slumber next to him. Because I knew that I could never be alive without Johnny C. And he could never be alive without me. And next to him, I passed on, to whatever world awaited me on the other end. But I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would be wherever I ended up. And that would be how we lived out eternity. In one anothers arms, forever.

66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

A/N: Short but sweet. Remember to R&amp;R, I may post one more chapter if there is enough interest.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

A/N: I had originally intended for this to be a oneshot, but I figured one more chapter wouldn't hurt.

66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

I noted two things almost instantly before I even opened my eyes. First, I didn't smell the scent of freshly turned earth, and the light rot of the body that had been next to me. Second, I was definitely not lying in a cramped, uncomfortable casket. Whatever was under me was soft, lumpy, but soft. I furrowed my brow. Had I gotten drunk and made the whole thing up in my mind? If so, where the hell am I?

It took a herculean amount of effort for me to open my eyes, and I blinked several times to wipe the cobweb like blurriness out of them. I was definitely not in my apartment. In fact, I had never seen this room before, as far as I knew. On the far wall there was a window, with black shades pulled over it, blocking out what appeared to be nothing more than moonlight. The bed she was in was covered in a white blanket, which I later discovered was heavily bloodstained, but I couldn't tell that at the moment. I saw a bookshelf that seemed to be overflowing, stuffed tight with books that I couldn't quite make out the names of. And on the walls….

I sat up quickly, those were my paintings. All of them, it was at that moment that I chose to look down, noting the massive amount of blood on the blanket I was currently lying under. Oh God, oh fuck… what the hell?! My mind was screaming at me. I took a look at my wrist and froze. It was cut wide open. I could see severed muscles, veins, and a small patch of white in the center of it. But… it wasn't bleeding. And it didn't hurt. Why didn't it hurt?

I started to panic, not that I hadn't been up until this point, but it was worse now. Where the hell am I?! My mind screamed. I didn't vocalise it because I didn't know….

That was when I heard a sharp intake of breath next to me, I froze again. Someone was in here with me. I didn't know where I was. My artwork was here. And there was someone in the room with me.

Shaking, I looked to my left, and my heart stopped, actually, had I felt it beating at all in the past few minutes? I didn't matter, because sitting in the chair next to the strange bed. Looking directly at me. Was Johnny C. Only, he looked different. His eyes were darker, hair more limp, skin more sallow than usual. He looked tired. I was used to him always looking tired, but this was different. He sat for a moment, just staring at me. Almost as if he didn't actually see me there and was looking at something across the room. I wanted to say something. I wanted to move. But I couldn't. My muscles were frozen, my voice caught in my throat. The last time I had seen him he died in my arms.

Did this mean….

"What are you doing here, Devi?" He asked suddenly, making me jump slightly. He looked a cross between relieved and angry. The first part I could deal with, the other part scared the piss out of me. An angry Nny was a dangerous Nny, and he was dangerous enough as is. It took a moment, but I finally found my voice.

"Where… is here, exactly?" I asked, not taking my eyes from his. He seemed to relax visibly at my voice, but still wore the same expression on his face. He looked in thought for a moment, as if he was trying to find words to explain something that seemed like it should be some simple. I held my breath, had I actually be breathing until now? He took another sharp breath, and dropped his eyes from mine.

"You're in hell." I barely heard him say. "My hell. I didn't fit in anywhere else, so they made this house just for me…."

I blinked. Hell. I was in hell. I was actually dead. It had worked. We were both dead, and we were together, finally. I couldn't help but smile. A feeling of intense relief washed over me. I didn't care where I was anymore, all that mattered was that I was here, with him. I pulled the blanket off of me, with a bit of effort, the half dried blood stuck to my legs, leaving behind sticky, red stains. I swung my legs off the bed and tried to stand up, I wobbled, and had to place my hands on the nightstand, but I managed to stay upright. He watched me, the look in his eyes unreadable.

It occurred to me, now that the air was hitting my skin, that I was completely naked. Apparently my clothes hadn't decided to follow me. I didn't really pay much attention though. My mind and eyes stuck on the man sitting in the chair. I reached out tentatively, with my injured arm, I wanted to touch him, I had to make sure he was real. That this wasn't some kind of torture that I was going to subjected to for the rest of eternity.

Faster than I could really comprehend though, his hand shot up and caught my wrist. I blinked for a moment, and stumbled a bit as he tugged my hand closer. His eyes were transfixed on the open wound on my wrist. The open, non-bleeding, non-painful, wound. After a moment, his fingers traced around the skin, softly, it felt soothing, though there really wasn't much to sooth. My eyes slipped closed for a moment. Only to open again when I heard him take a shaking breath.

"Devi…" he whimpered sadly. "Devi… what did you do?"

"I immortalized the moment…" I whispered. His eyes snapped to mine. They were clouded with sadness, and I was taken far aback. "I found your letter… I went to your house after the funeral… and I read it… and…"

He was shaking his head, mumbling 'no' over and over again. "This isn't what I wanted…." He finally said, looking back up at me with tears streaking his white cheeks. "This isn't what I wanted for you." He released my wrist, my hand fell back to my side, and he stood up, pacing a few steps away from me. I was confused, and somewhat hurt.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, not moving from my spot. Not even looking away from the chair he had just been in.

"You were never supposed to see me. You were supposed to be happy, and find someone to fall in love with and forget all about me…. and then I was supposed to die, knowing that you were okay, and happy…" He turned and looked at me, I couldn't really read his face. He seemed… devastated. "Why did you do this…?" He asked, his eyes sweeping over me for a moment. It was then that I finally looked down at myself. I was deathly pale, not that I'd ever exactly been the most well tanned person in the world, but my Mexican heritage had left somewhat of a tint to my skin. It was gone now. I spent several moments just staring down at myself. Until he said my name again. "Devi…" I looked up "Why…?"

"Because I couldn't be happy without you…." I confessed, feeling my eyes fill with tears. I'd thought I'd cried enough recently to last me forever… apparently I was wrong. I'd dropped my eyes from his, concentrating hard on the floor.. It was clean, the tile was a red that looked eerily similar to blood... I didn't notice when he stepped closer to me until his fingers were lifting my chin, making me look up at him. Had he always been this much taller than me? He looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to tell if I was lying or not.

"Devi…" He started, I didn't know what was about to come out of his mouth, but I'd had enough of this sad, depressed reunion. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. We were supposed to fall into each others arms and be insanely happy.

"I love you…" I whispered, not taking my eyes off of his. "I love you, and I didn't know it until it was too late. You died in my arms, and I couldn't breathe anymore." I confessed, my tears starting to roll down my cheeks. "I couldn't make it through the days knowing that you weren't walking behind me, sitting in the corner watching me drink coffee… I missed you so much. And… when they put you in the ground, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I took Squee home, and went into your house. I just wanted to be surrounded by you one more time." I didn't realize it, but he was crying too, silently. But he just listened. "The statue in your room told me to look under your pillow. I didn't read anything, nothing but the letter. And… I knew then that I couldn't live anymore, not without you. So… I took one of your knives, and crawled into your casket and…" I looked down at my wrist. I noticed that it was starting to close up.

"Devi…" He whispered again, and before I knew it I found myself wrapped in his long arms. I breathed him in, even in death he smelled the same. Like earth, and blood. I'd missed that smell so much. I slipped my arms around his shoulders and leaned into him. He still felt boney and awkward, but it didn't bother me. I was here, with him, and he was holding me, and now we'd truly be together forever. Just like he had wanted so long ago.

He kept his arms around me tight. I had no idea how long we had stood there, but it occurred to me that time really didn't have much of a meaning in my life anymore. We really could stay like this forever if we wanted to. Eventually, slowly, his arms loosened around me, and he stood straighter, looking down. I finally saw a smile in his eyes, there was my Nny. He raised a spidery hand and wiped the tears off of my face, before kissing my forehead and resting his cheek against it.

"I love you too," He whispered, and I couldn't remember a moment in my entire life that I'd ever been this happy.

666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

A/N: That's it. I wanted to keep it going… but I just couldn't really make it work with the direction I decided to take it. So that's all folks!

Please remember to R&amp;R


End file.
